Teen Mom Season 7 Episode 10 Recap: Catelynn, Nova, and a Pee Stick

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Well, we're back this week with an additional dosage of snark now that we're over our much hated winter cold.

Who's going to win the award this week for king and queen troll of Teen Mom? Read on to find out!

Farrah

Farrah is still in Italy, which is why the rest of America is breathing a sign of relief. Farrah and Deborah go out for drinks to a club, where Deborah gets up on a pole and starts to rap her song.

Yeeeeeeahhhh, Debs, bring it.

Shockingly, Farrah herself points out that she had fun. However, it seems to be a bad omen when she notes her hopes that she continues to get along with her mother.

The next day, Deborah shows up at Farrah's apartment and brings Sophia dresses but then, uh oh, a bomb is dropped and Deborah notes that she hopes Sophia can wear the dress to her wedding. The moment amps up the drama and Debs lets loose with a few years. Farrah is completely unphased and snaps that they won't be going to the wedding.

Then, all of a sudden, a robot takes over Sophia's body and she bots out a few remarks about she's not coming to the wedding, all the while looking down. Beep, bop, beepo, beep.

Farrah looks triumphant that her daughter has turned into a robot and parrots Sophia's statement about how they're not coming to the wedding.

Later, Farrah sits with Sophia by the water while she whispers purportedly sweet nothings into her ear that are actually just evil nothings, means to widen the split between Sophia and Deborah. OMG!!! We're finally seeing exactly how it is that Farrah poisons Sophia's mind against Deborah.

Farrah seriously needs to be working for the government because she is really good at brainwashing children.

While out having ice cream, Deborah and Michael talk about Sophia's newfound reluctance to come to Deborah's wedding. Michael is surprisingly down-to-earth and even though we figure he HAS to know Farrah is a viper and speaking poison into his granddaughter's ears he tells Deborah the problem is that when Sophia sees her and Farrah fighting, all she thinks is she doesn't want to keep the conflict going.

Still, we genuinely feel for Deborah when she looks so upset about Sophia rejecting her.

Maci

Bentley's birthday is coming up which means that Ryan is busy mucking out about in his garden trying to figure out what to do for a gift for him. What is it with deadbeat dads and feeling like if they get their kid the perfect present for their birthday it'll make up for all of the little league games they didn't make and the drugs they did while their kid was graduating from elementary school? It seems Maci shares our dismay since the first thing she does in this episode is get on the phone with a friend and share her disappointment in him.

She's probably so psyched that Ryan still hasn't give her a verified clean drug test since all this does is just make Ryan look THAT much dumber and implicated.

Meanwhile, Taylor is in the backyard jumping on a trampoline making us realize the true value of having a show on MTV that provides so MUCH free marketing for your business you never actually have to work.

Bentley shows up and Maci asks him to call Ryan. Ryan has the most vacant conversation with him possible and again makes us question his command of the English language.

It really is not clear to us if Ryan's drawl is that bad or he thinks that every single WORD can be made into a contraction.

Bentley will be headed to Jen and Larry's for the day for his birthday. Ryan still hasn't had the fortitude to take a drug test so he doesn't get to spend time alone with Bentley.

Later, Ryan and Mackenzie complain about how he's actually given about 100 drug tests at this point, but apparently, Maci hasn't asked for the results. Yes, that's completely believable. The only thing standing in the way here is Maci ASKING.

Jen and Larry then take Bentley shopping for a suit for Ryan's wedding. We're confused by this. It this going to be Ryan's third wedding ceremony to Mackenzie?

Everyone then winds up at Jen and Larry's house where Ryan is curled up on his sofa querying Mackenzie about her spending habits. We're thinking that Ryan's accountant recently brought him to speed with how much he's spent on drug and rehab recently, because he seems to be spending an awful lot of time hounding Mackenzie about her spending habits.

Ryan, here's a tip: Use your Instagram to push rehab programs and collect affiliate money 'cause it's so painful to watch you harass Mackenzie every episode.

Later, Jen and Larry have the most incomprehensible conversation, presumably about how far Ryan has come and how happy they are that Bentley is over. These two have a worse drawl than Ryan.

Back at Maci's, Maci tells Taylor that she RSVP'd to Ryan's wedding.

Amber

As usual, Amber is headed somewhere in the car with her latest boyfriend in the car.

We don't know why Amber doesn't just give up on dating altogether and simply hire a chauffeur since this really seems to be her main use for her boyfriends.

Amber has returned from Hawaii and apparently needs to come up with a "plan" to announce her pregnancy. Given that she was last pregnant as a teenager, we don't think she needs a plan to announce her pregnancy.

Honey, it's too late. Everyone KNOWS you can pump out children like a machine.

Gary and his chins have to pontificate on his hopes that Amber and her new boyfriend and baby are gonna turn out all right.

Gawd, it must suck to have an ex like Gary seem to have launched in life so much more successfully than you.

Later, Amber is tucked snugly into bed while she considers how she's going to make her announcement to her mother. She considers the possibility that her mom might freak out. AGAIN, that SHIP SAILED A LONG TIME AGO.

Amber and Andrew then have a chance to talk to Amber's mom in person on a wagon, headed to god knows where. It's hard to tell exactly what Amber's mother's response is to the pregnancy since MTV has to bleep out practically every other word she says.

Amber's mother is surprised that this will be Andrew's first child which just goes to show what she's come to be used to in terms of Amber's choice of men.

Amber, Andrew, Leah and everyone thing go pumpkin picking, like the big happy family that they are.

Catelynn

Luckily for Catelynn and Tyler are lucky that Nova is having a meltdown since otherwise they would have ABSOLUTELY nothing to film. Once in the car, Nova appears to have calmed down.

Catelynn makes a move on Tyler that he doesn't seem to remotely return the sentiments of. Seriously. Tyler's response is like, "Uuuuhhhhhggg, yeah, let's have sex later, suuuuure, honey."

Tyler and Catelynn get to something that looks like a bumpkin amusement park where kids get to bounce up and down on gigantic tarps and hay.

Tyler's family tries to instigate by bringing up the topic of twins and how Catelynn and Tyler would react if they had two kids at the same time.

Catelynn talks to her friend about getting pregnant with another kid and what this might be like for Nova or Tyler. Okay, seriously, stop spending soooooo much talking about getting pregnant and just do it already!

Later, Catelynn goes to the bathroom and takes a pregnancy test for some reason. We swear, there was some serious product placement on that test brand from MTV.

In the next scene, we find out that Catelynn is, in fact, pregnant.

But the incomprehensible part is why, in the a celebratory moment, either she or Tyler would let Nova fondle the positive pee stick.

Um, you peed on that, honey - why is your child now turning the stick over and over in her hands????!!!

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The life and times of teen moms!

Stay tuned for next time!

Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: Tyler Just Gave Us More Details About His Childhood...And They're Chilling...

(more); Catelynn Hits Back At The Haters After This Week's Episode (more); Farrah Abraham Goes Apeshit on MTV: Teen Mom Junkies Break it Down (more); Who's the Bigger Trainwreck Mom? Farrah or Debs? (more).

And here are some more related articles: Farrah Abraham Goes to Mar-A-Lago, Upsets Some Fans, Confuses Everyone Else (more); Farrah's Putting Anal Lube On Her Feet And Selling To You For $12.99 (more); Farrah Abraham Wants You To Pay $20 To See Her Lips (more).

A few more: What Farrah Needs to Keep Her Career Going (more); Could Farrah's New Lingerie Line Actually Succeed? (more).

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