The latest episode of Teen Mom OG premiered on New Year's Day, which we're gonna admit, we just didn't see that one coming.

So we're a day late with this recap BUUUUUUUUT, we promise we'll deliver all of the snark that you're looking for today. Read on for us to make good on that promise.

Farrah

Farrah is busy forcing Sophia to do yet another thing that may likely mark her as child labor and is now boogie boarding.

Shockingly, she looks like she's having fun, perhaps because she gets to spend some time away from mom.

One of the producers asks Farrah if she's looking forward to spending time in Omaha and of course, Farrah has to be a total bitch to her and tell her she "doesn't really wanna talk about this." We're guessing the producers all draw straws as to who has to shadow Farrah in this job and whoever doesn't have to do it winds up having to take everyone else out to dinner because boy are you getting the short end of the stick when you have to be a producer on Farrah's footage.

Meanwhile, back in Debs's world, which is full of flowers and honey, (unlike Farrah's world full of vipers and poison), Debs announces to Dr. David that Farrah is going to be visiting.

Dr. David seems like he would be troubled considering he tells Debs that he hopes Farrah treats her a little bit better but somehow does not change his facial expression AT ALL from the SAT prep descriptor of "restrained concern."

Later, Farrah decides to go out for a bite to eat with Sophia and a local porn star. Farrah decides to use her time out with said porn star to complain about her mom's relationship with Dr.

David. You don't have to be a psychiatrist to figure out just how jealous Farrah is over Debs's new relationship.

Farrah then jets off to Omaha for her grandma's 80th birthday. In the car. Sophia complains about Dr.

David. We gotta say, we're really impressed by the extent to which Farrah has managed to brainwash Sophia. We're wondering what her technique is. Electroconvulsive therapy? Subliminal bedtime messaging?

While out with Debs, Farrah manages to squirrel Sophia away and off camera but still on mike gets her to say that she doesn't want to go to Debs's wedding. Wow, even Debs being the borderline that she is, probably did not see it coming that Farrah would become the demon mother that she is. Despite chomping happily away on her fries, Debs knows when Sophia and Farrah return to the table that something's goin on.

Farrah announces that Sophia doesn't want to go to the wedding. Sophia conveniently engrosses herself in some coloring and lets her mama battle this one out with Debs for her.

Debs points out that it's not healthy to give people ultimatums, which is the soundest statement we've ever seen coming from her lips. Farrah isn't put off, however, and manages to deliver her ultimatum all the same.

Amber

Amber talks to a producer about how she's not going to Vegas and how she's just going to wash her hands off Matt, despite the fact that he swindled her out of a lot of money.

Amber then decides to announce her new relationship with Andrew and prefaces her announcement and notes that "we kinda met in a weird way," That's code for, "we met on a reality TV show that I signed up for to fix my previous jacked up relationship but instead I shacked up with you."

Next, we see Gary talking to his wife about how Amber is a "come and go kinda of a mom." Oh boy. You know you're hard up for good parenting when your Dad Gary, is the responsible one.

Gary also points out that Amber is $9,500 short on her child support payment. We guess that's how things work in Amberville, Matt swindles her out of money and she passes the buck on to her kid.

Later, Amber introduces us to Andrew.

Andrew looks nervous when Amber tells us all that she's 'legit going to do a background check on any guy she dates." Yep, this guy is not going to pass muster on that one, honey.

Amber does wind up seeing and spending time with Leah when she goes over to Gary's. Gary makes dagger eyes at her while she's there, however, which is clearly deserved since Amber really cannot see past her own nose to spend time with her kid.

Gary tries to get Amber to see this and that she is not the only person in the world to have gone through a breakup.

Oh boy, we gotta say we do really feel for Gary 'cause it must be hard to have your baby momma be this much of a narcissist.

Maci

Ryan didn't take the drug test that Maci asked him to which comes as on surprise to her or her friend on the phone.

Maci feel she's "done all [she] can do." We're not gonna spite Maci 'cause she was a single teen mom for some time, but honey, c'mon, you haven't really done that much for Ryan.

Meanwhile, Taylor gets a haircut (which we're not sure he needs considering his look seems to be the ungroomed type) and discusses his plans to take Maci skydiving for her birthday. His hairdresser pronounces this "white people shit."

Next, Ryan and Mackenzie are talking about the fact that they need to get dressed for engagement photos. One of the producers decides to become a beacon of common sense and asks why they're having engagement photos when they're already married. This is clearly a level of thinking that Mackenzie and Ryan are simply NOT AT because that deadened look on Ryan's face doesn't clear off.

Ryan manages to further showcase his massive wit and insight when he ignores the very strained look on Mackenzie's face to "go get ready for de pic-chah's, Ryaaaaaan." This girl definitely looks like she's going to shit a brick but Ryan, being the plumb dunce, that he is, doesn't pick up on her signals. Ryan then digs himself himself further in when he decides to ask Mackenzie how money she spent at the mall.

We guess when you're making a couple hundred thousand a year off of showcasing your drug habits on national TV, money "shhhhhuuuuuure is tight y'all." Mackenzie just get more pissed.

Loos like her King Charles spaniel got to be a stand-in, however, because instead of getting to see Mackenzie yelling at Ryan all we get is a lovely shot of their dog looking completely and utterly baffled by this new turn of events.

Mackenzie likes to air out her dirty laundry off camera, which we're so bewildered by consider her mike is still on. Honey, we can HEAR YOU!

Tyler then takes Maci out for a date and tells her that they can go skydiving for her birthday. Somehow when they take off for this, Maci and Tyler manage to make the lead-up to dropping out of a plane at 10,000 feet the most boring ever viewing experience.

Still, you just know that this skydiving company felt like their year was made by all of the free press they got from this one. Not surprisingly, Maci and and Tyler look completely underwhelmed once they're landed.

Catelynn

Catelynn and Tyler are still busy drumming up drama and talking about what it'll be like for them to see Carly after many years.

To drive things home in the "let's make sure we can violate all of Carly's boundaries" space, Catelynn asks Nova if she's excited to see Carly.

Catelynn and Tyler continue to yak yak yak away about how Theresa just hasn't done Carly right - 'cause she's been providing a warm, supportive environment for Carly rather than accepting Catelynn's invitation to hang out all of the time.

Catelynn and Tyler do eventually wind up meeting Carly and her family but Theresa didn't allow them to film for MTV. Can we just talk for a minute about how awesome this set of parents are and how well they must be raising Carly.

Later, Tyler waxes poetic about how he and Catelynn were too young when they had Carly and how much that sucked. Both he and Catelynn wish for a do-over.

That's all folks. See you next times!

Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: Teen Mom OG Season 8 Reunion Part II: Amber Makes an Appearance (more); Teen Mom, Season 8 Episode 12: Who Will Amber Attack Next? (more); Teen Mom OG, Season 8, Episode 4 Recap: Nova Gets Jelly Jelly (more); Teen Mom OG, Season 8: Episode 3; Amber Goes Waaaaay Crazy (more).

And here are some more related articles: Teen Mom OG Season 7 Reunion Part I, Recap: Will Amber Quit Teen Mom OG? (more); Teen Mom OG Recap, Season 7, Episode 30: Tyler Leaves (more); Teen Mom OG Recap, Season 7, Episode 29: Dad-Bod Gary Finds his Dad (more).

A few more: What's Amber's Latest Shocking Move? The Answer Will Surprise You (more); Teen Mom OG Recap, Season 7 Episode 26: (more).