Teen Mom OG Season 7, Episode 5 Recap: Catelynn and Tyler Dish Dirt on Carly's Adoptive Parents

andrew glennon

We're back this week with even more hijinks in the teen mom world. Think that new teen mom show on TLC has got the upper hand on MTV's classic? Think again. There ain't no messing with Amber 'cause you now she would scratch Lexus's eyes out with just that little pinky finger nail.

Sadly that's one cat fight we'll never get to see. But read on to find out what fights did take place in this episode.

Amber

Amber wants to move on but given that Matt has been reaching out so much to her, she's really confused about their relationship. Not sure how a bunch of texts from a man who's stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars could be so confusing, buuuuuuuuut, that's Amber for you.

Amber is continuing to rock the headdress a la Sophia Loren while she pontificates on how Matt betrayed her, which we suppose makes her grief somewhat more glamorous.

Later, Amber talks to Matt and wants assurance that he's going to set up a therapist. It's not clear if Amber is just hamming up the dramz here for the cameras or if her self-esteem is really that bad.

Back at Gary's house, the family is clowning around and Gary talks about how Amber seems to have lost some interest in Leah. C'mon, y'all, Amber has got soooooo much going on right now.

What with getting back together with the jerks who exploit her and traipsing around her home in headgear befitting a 70s screen siren.

Amber has her nails done with either a friend/producer/some combo of the two and talks about how her plan when she sees Matt is to ham things up for the camera/see if there is future with Matt.

Farrah

Farrah has now decided to christen her booty call in Europe "travel abroad" perhaps thinking the phrase will elevate her porn pimping self to new heights. Epic fail. Still, she the trip has also enlightened her sense of her relationship with her mother and now she wants to effect a reunion.

In addition to Starburst, Farrah has also decided to add another furry friend to her family - though its level of fuzziness kept us from understanding whether it was a dog or a cat.

In any case, Farrah's father attributes Farrah's tendency to fight with her mother to the "Italian in her." Farrah thinks this is positively hilarious.

Farrah decides to have a heart-to-heart with Sophia about their relationship with grandma and for some reason, wants to leave the entirety of decision-making up to Sophia. It's not clear if Farrah is having this conversation with Sophia because she has a genuine interest in her opinion or if she knows she's going through a phase where she'll say "No!" to everything so then she can blame Sophia for staying angry with her mom.

And indeed, Farrah looked pleased as punch when Sophia has no interest in seeing her grandmother again.

Farrah sure likes spending a lot of time at the nail salon, because we swear, it's the third time seeing her filmed there. Maybe they're cutting her an endorsement deal.

Who knows. In any case, Farrah collects some pearls of wisdom from her would-be step-mom.

Later, Farrah and Sophia call Momma Debs on the phone and invite her to go Italy with them. In the next scene, Farrah tells her dad she's going to Italy with her mom but she wants her father to come too.

Oh boy, talk about a setup for dramz. But that's just what Farrah wanted, wasn't it?

Maci

Maci's getting Bentley ready for third grade. Sadly, she still has to grapple with the tough decision of whether Bentley can spend time with Ryan. Meanwhile, Jen and Larry are massively PO'd that Maci could ever think Bentley would ever be in any danger at their home.

Yeah, suuuuuuuuure - your son nearly killed himself and his fiance while out on a pleasant drive which you never had ANY idea about, which means we can all rest assured that you'd never put Bentley in harms way.

Jen punctuates this remark with some plentiful crocodile tears.

Later, while Ryan happily pals around with his new puppy (which we're afraid is going to wind up on its back, legs in the air, Trainspotting-style in a few weeks) he talks about how "stressed" he is not being able to see Bentley.

Yeah, that blank complacency is sure giving off an aura of stress.

Mackenzie and some other troll talk about how hard it's been watching Ryan on the road to recovery.

It's been "hard" for Mackenzie -we'll bet it's hard watching Maci cash in on a lot of lucrative endorsement deals while Ryan was just popping pill after pill and NOT getting paid to do it.

On the first day of school for Bentley, Ryan does not reach out. DUUUUUH. He's a dead-beat dad. Naturally, Ryan has also not complied with Maci's requests for drug-testing.

In the next scene, Ryan and Mackenzie are spending time with her son Hudson. Ryan says he took a hair follicle drug test to "kinda see what it woulda show." For the next minute, Ryan goes on to keep up the charade of being an interested father and threaten to take Maci to court.

Honey, slow down. We know how much energy that took out of you.

Catelynn

Catelynn and Tyler's only connection to being teenage parents is Carly so every now and then they have to dredge up her memory and want to pull out some dramz about the situation. Unluckily for them, Carly's adoptive family is on to them, however, and resists televised visits.

Matter of fact, they seem to be resisting visits altogether, which we have to say, is just really, really good judgment. Catelynn can't stop crying about the situation which does seem genuine.

In the next scene, Tyler and Catelynn ramp up their complaints about Carly's fam. Seems finding a warm, kind stable family for their daughter just is good enough for these two nowadays.

Their producer calls this "angst" and Tyler and Catelynn seem to think this term fits just right.

Once in Raleigh, the producers have to try to trigger as much dramz from Catelynn and Tyler as possible, by asking them questions like, "If you had kept Carly, you wouldn't have had Nova..." The conversation prompts Tyler to say that he doesn't care about the relationship with Carly's adoptive parents anymore.

Yeah, that's the right thing to say on national TV RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO VISIT THEM.

Tyler and Catelynn hypothesize about how things will be when they meet Carly. They imagine Nova and Catelynn playing together. Yep, that's what bio siblings who have never met each other do straight off the bat.

Stay tuned for next week!

Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: Tyler Just Gave Us More Details About His Childhood...And They're Chilling...

(more); Catelynn Hits Back At The Haters After This Week's Episode (more); Catelynn's Shocking Miscarriage Rocks Teen Mom OG (more); Teen Mom OG Season 7, Episode 6 Recap: Amber's Shocking Unveiling of Andrew (more).

And here are some more related articles: Drum Roll for the Sex of Amber's Baby... (more); Teen Mom OG, Season 7, Episode 2 Recap: Find Out How Matt Lost Amber $120,000 (more); Amber May Be In For A Tough Year (more).

A few more: The Teen Mom Stars Respond to Amber's Pregnancy (more); The Real Reason Amber is Pregnant Updated (more).

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