Farrah's Latest Business Adventure and Other Various Things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53lthhUaxKU

Farrah, one of the original Teen Mom girls, seems to always have something to say when her fellow MTV stars make big life changes. In a short interview with RumorFix, Farrah was asked about Jenelle Evan's second son, Kaiser.

Farrah said, "Well congrats to her" and then went on a small rant about how there's no way that she would find a boyfriend and quickly decide to have a baby with him without a solid plan set in place.

She also criticized Jenelle for repeating mistakes that she had made in the past by getting pregnant again. OK! Magazine has more to say about this topic, including more detailed quotes from Farrah's brief interview.

Jenelle never really stays quiet for too long, and she went ahead and took to Twitter to ensure that people knew her side of the situation as well. Jenelle shared the following tweet with fans last night:

https://twitter.com/PBandJenelley_1/status/486541230977720320

In other Farrah news, it appears that her claim about opening a restaurant happens to be true. Farrah has been promoting a new restaurant in Texas called Froco, which claims to have a blend of fresh and frozen foods.

Farrah's restaurant is set to open in October, and construction has already begun on the place.

Farrah has also started a website for Froco which features information on the restaurant's history, as written by Farrah.

Froco will have a mascot called Coba who is supposed to be "a popping boba" and the mascot will even have a costume to wear at the restaurant.

Comments

She genuinely never makes any sense. Also a 'popping boba' sounds like what her asshole looks like.

All I know is that I don't think I'll ever drink a boba drink again. Farrah's ruined it for us all!

It sounds like a greek grandfather talking about pooping.

Not that I think Jenelle having a child is the best choice... but is Farah really saying that after a oops baby, having any more children is just repeating past mistakes... because that is a really strange way to view procreation.

Right?! I don't even know if that's what she's trying to say. Hell, I NEVER know what she's trying to say. She makes ZERO sense. She tries to sound smart by saying a lot, but it comes out with a lot of "likes", and she sounds dumber, if that possible. This whole "popping boba" shit is stupid. I agree with Babs..it sounds like a reference to her asshole. Or maybe an action she had to do to her asshole to get rid of anal wart after making her porn.

I talk derpy like this when I've had too much to drink or am really upset or REALLY nervous. Even then I think I make some sort of sense.

Is Coba the popping boba that freaking scary-looking thing that appears to be frolicking in the margins of the website? It looks like it is crying for someone to throw a pacifier in its mouth and a 10-inch butt plug in the back end. Who would eat at someplace like this?

How can someone who has Farrah's lack of knowledge of basic sentence structure, the use of comas, the use of apostrophes, and inability to know the difference between to/too/two, our/are, and there/their/they're even pretend to be an author? The best way to learn the intelligence of someone is to look at something they wrote. If the writer looks like they stopped learning in 3rd grade, when the proper use of the apostrophe was taught, you basically pretty much know you are dealing with a waterhead. It makes no difference whether the writer is writing in a newspaper or a tweet - it is no more difficult to use proper grammar and punctuation on social media than in formal usage.

Also- What is with the founder's fixation with yogurt and her health claims about yogurt? It is a little more than creepy that the only real health benefit of yogurt is that it can replace and enhance the flora in a persons alimentary tract. In other words - if you are getting the microorganisms in your colon knocked out of your back door on a regular basis, you could benefit from putting some yogurt in through the front door in order to staunch the flow. The founder must be getting her colon wrecked with amazing frequency.

Can we just refer to Farrah as The Founder from now on? I couldn't tell whether she was trying to pretend someone else wrote all of that drivel about her or if she was proud of producing such a creepy, vague and nonsensical proposal for a restaurant theme herself.

Who am I kidding? She clearly doesn't understand half the words coming out of her mouth so I won't give her the benefit of the doubt that she put any actual thoughts into that website at all.

My favorite part is where she tries to push the idea of franchise "opportunities" when I don't even understand what kind of shit this place is supposed to sell besides Greek yogurt. This girl has more money than brain cells. Who wants to take bets on how long this particular business venture will last?

Jenelle's Eyebrows -

You beat me to the punch on that idea. I just logged in and was determined to change my screen name to The Founder, but I am kind of attached to my current one for some reason. Every time I read The Founder's writing, I find a new aspect to her English language, gramma4r and usage. In reviewing her newest food website, I was struck by her comma usage. She seems to place them randomly and just about anywhere, except where they are actually supposed to be.

I am offering a $100 cash prize to the first person who can explain the rules that govern The Founder's use of commas. I believe that The Founder is a superior being and therefore she must dumb herself down in order to write our primitive language. Her unique use of punctuation and grammar arises out of the fact that she can't bring herself to use our deeply-flawed language to convey her complex thoughts.

LONG LIVE THE FOUNDER.

Oh my god. That would be a great screen name. If you keep yours I hope someone will use it.

I'm actually a copy editor so it's really hard for me to look at The Founder's writing for too long before my head feels like it's going to explode. There is really no rhyme or reason to it. It's not a code to be cracked I don't think, just pure chaos. Letting my family clean brain matter off the walls probably wouldn't be worth the $100.

Jenelles Eyebrows -

Man, you have my dream job. I always dreamed of being an editor. With your background, The Founder must just give you migraines. I have friends of mine who are serious engineers and finance people, and they will tell you that they see the world in complex math equations and they even associate psychological and emotional phenomena with geometry, and I always thought it would be cool to see the world that way. Likewise, you must have an interesting worldview as a copy editor. Does the world kind of break down to you as language, logic and the rules of grammar? I do a fair amount of writing in my profession, and I sometimes tend to break everything down into linguistic and logical components. I will trade you jobs anytime . . .

CM - I am a rather laid back person in general so I've learned to not take things like online comments, tweets, etc., too seriously because no one has time to make sure things like that are totally perfect (unless you are officially representing a professional person/company). However, if you are writing something like an article, story or professional website content, it is pretty fucking embarrassing to do shit like not type in complete sentences or misspell things like The Founder. It is hard for me sometimes to just read stuff online like that without mentally correcting commas and revising in my head - especially if I'm reading while at work. I guess thinking like that keeps me on my toes for my job though. :)

Seriously though, The Founder obviously paid someone to create a website for her restaurant (I know she didn't code that shit herself) but she couldn't be bothered to pay someone to write content for her?

This is my favorite part of the site:

Book Classes

1.The Classes by Coba are not just sooo fun; there also about the cultures we each eat in our yogurt! Coba takes you on a Froco tour behind the scenes to investigate all the health facts and do some foodie taste tests to learn more about the differences between our every day yogurt types we see at the grocery store and in froco.

2.Coba also offers a one on one class where someone special get’s to make a wish and let their creativity come alive as Coba has more then enough fun planed for an hour, educates, and exceeds past a tour and knowledge. Moment to remember with a special gift by Coba. Please let us know what wish you have today & schedule a time below

I am just so glad that the founder has taken the time to educate us all. I swear I am going to get some time off work and get my ass down to Floco to take in every single aspect of this wonderful cultural experience. I really need to have both the classes and one-on-one learning experienced from Coba. I wantto know what is happening in my ass after I eat something from Floca.

Sweet Moses. I don't even want to know what a "special gift" from Coba entails. Her writing literally sounds like she is from a third world country and trying to scam people on craigslist or some shit.

My wish is to send Farrah to a deserted island where she has no contact with the outside world. Think Coba could help me out with that?

JE- Maybe she really does take lessons from the person who scammed her out of her car! I'm pretty sure I've never laughed so hard at a TV show as I did watching that. I'm sure Farrah has a bunch of Nigerian princes that just love her!

Question of the night. Who would you want to disappear the most?

Ashley
Jenelle
Farrah
Nikkole
ADUI

other? (Has to be from TM or 16andP)

Damn TTB that is a hard one. I can't say Farrah because she truly delights me with her stunning intellect. I want to say Jenelle (Adumb is up there) but I think I'd have to go with Nikkole because she is a fucking psychpath. It makes me sick to my stomach she faked a stillbirth and profited. How there has been zero ramifications for what she did astound me.

Nikkole. There is nothing worse in the world than what she did. You cannot make light of the death of a baby.

Farrah delights me too! She's just a clown that is entertaining. Actually she even looks like a clown. The thing with Nikkole, I totally agree she's a disgusting human being but I think she's gone into shame and I don't hear about her much. All i hear about is mother fucking Jenelle and I hate how she brags about her "perfect" life that is a complete lie and leaves Jace out of it/treats her mom like shit/picks men over her kids constantly. Ashley is pretty fuckin annoying too but I think I'll go with Jenelle...and Nathan if it comes in a packaged deal. Would LOVE to see when they don't have anymore TM money. Would absolutely love it. Actually Kale too. Sick of hearing about her shitty book. Man this is tough.

Agreed. Then they all exploit their kids in disgusting ways and are all shitty parents so I don't know.

Totally agree if it could be a Juhnelle/ Nayfan package deal. I really hate Nathan and his attitude/ the way he treats Babs. I think I'd like the slap the smug smile off his face more than I'd like to slap Adam. But what I wouldn't do to slap both!

My vote in this order:

Nikkole
ADUI/Adumb/Adouchenozzle
Farrah
Ashley
Jenelle

Wow. Why is Jenelle the the one I least want to disappear? WTF that is not right! I guess she hasn't done anything to really piss me off lately. Probably because she has to keep her new spawn hidden until her paycheck clears. I guess you can't top faking a baby's death.

Oh my lord. There are no words - I just can't even make fun of this because it's so TERRIBLY AWFUL! If she's such a "successful business women" (that's not a typo, that's just how Michael spells "woman") why doesn't she understand that she should hire someone to create and write copy for her restaurant's website? I have no problem with her opening a restaurant - congrats to her for trying her hand at something legitimate - but for goodness sake, hire some competent people to cook, create recipes, do the marketing, etc. This is beyond bad.

Farrah's Neck Mole - don't you understand? Farrah is the best at everything, and can write the copy for HER restaurant better than anyone else can. If it's HER restaurant, then shouldn't SHE handle everything? Whatever she doesn't want to do gets handed off to Michael.

Either Jenelle or Nikkole.

Jenelle because of the ongoing refusal to actually be a mother to her son, and floating in and out of his life for all the good bits and buggering off when it suits her. What she is doing to Jace is appalling.

Nikkole, well, nuff said.

But both of them are pretty heinous humans

Adam's Downgrade -

I had completely forgotten about that business transaction that was completed by The Founder.

You were mistaken in your belief that someone scammed The Founder out of her car on the show. She is a successful business woman, so that was obviously just one small part of her overall gooder business scheme that we normal people cannot comprehend.

Tylers Trap Baby -

I have a dark horse candidate for having a TM disappear from the surface of the earth - Maci. She has always been ultra annoying to me and hypocritical. She got a super edit, and it drives me insane to see people who can't see her many faults.

OMG YES! Maci isn't my least favorite but I can't fucking stand hearing about her either. She's a booze hound and we all know it

S.B.-

There is an old song by Devo, and the title is one word that is now politically incorrect. The one-word title of the song is a word that was used to describe children with Down's Syndrome (please no grief, since the word was not politically incorrect in the mid Seventies, when the song came out). Anyway, the song is about a person who is mentally handicapped (has one chromosome too many), but nobody ever told him that he had this condition. The hero of the song wears a hat, has a job, and brought home the bacon so that no one knew he was a M********. The point is that it does not take much to manage an average, daily existence in our dumbed-down society.

I am wondering if perhaps something like this has happened to The Founder. Maybe she was born with this mental handicap, but Michael and Deborah never bothered to tell her. The Founder could just be going about her business, completely unaware of the condition from which she suffers.

[Please read the lyrics to the song before criticizing me for being insensitive to Down's Syndrome victims. The song actually shows the guy in a positive light, and the point to the song is that there is very little difference between the cognitive abilities of someone with a mental handicap and your average guy on the street. Also, I volunteer my free time to help challenged children learn to play Orff Instruments and do musical therapy. I enjoy the company of many people with Down's Syndrome, and my favorite actor is Chris Burke who played Corky on Life Goes On. I just think that there are a lot of similarities between Corky and The Founder.]

I literally don't care, but I have a sister with down syndrome (Not Down's Syndrome) and she is far more intelligent than Farrah could ever be. In fact if I told my sister about Farrah right now she'd probably make some hilarious snarky comment.

But I do really wonder what the fuck word is wrong with Farrah. If she was born like this or it was the environment.... I'm not too sure. She is an anomaly.............

God, Trap Baby. Don't tell Farrah that's what you think she is. Her head will explode from trying to figure what that word is, then she'll make our explode from having to hear it constantly, since it'll be her new "big girl" word.

Sorry- you are right about Down Syndrome. I am fascinated by that disorder, since the condition does not necessarily mean reduced mental functioning. Some people with Down Syndrome operate at a fairly high level. I remember a news story from the mid 90's about a guy who had been in the Navy for a few years. He had to go in for some routine medical tests, and they discovered that he had Down syndrome. The guy refused to believe it, because he had done relatively well in school and was successful in doing his work for the Navy. I felt horrible for the guy, because the Navy kicked him out, saying that their rules do not allow people with Down syndrome to serve. I could never figure out why that guy could not just continue doing what he was doing.

Are you old enough to remember "Life Goes On" in the late 80's with Chris Burke? Since you have a sister with Down Syndrome, it might be likely that she was a fan of the show as well. I was a huge fan of the show at first, until they changed the focus of the show from Corky to Becca and her cheese ass boyfriend. I was interested in the phenomenon of Chris Burke's celebrity. I thought it was pretty cool that a guy with Down Syndrome could be a self-made millionaire and thought it was weird that Chris Burke at age 25 had already made more money than I would probably ever make in a lifetime.

I know it is kind of weird to be a Chris Burke fan, but he just had a fascinating life. I bought his autobiography, A Special Kind of Hero (obviously heavily ghost written) as soon as it came out, and it was a bizarre read. Apparently Chris lived a life of a super celebrity among the Down Syndrome community. For a while, his life was kind of like that of the Beatles -Wherever he went, he was mobbed by large groups of girls with Down Syndrome and other similar issues.

His career also had a similar arc to many other stars who gain celebrity quickly. He started to get bigheaded and demanded that his parents let him live on his own. They reluctantly agreed, but he became the target for lots of con men and sleaze buckets, because he did not really know the value of the money he had. In the book, his dad said that you could show Chris a $20 bill and a check for a million dollars and tell him to take the most valuable one - he would choose the $20, because he never understood the concept of checking accounts or the value of money.

Chris' fame kind of burned out after attaining such initial success. He would go into bars and tell the bartender that he was paying for every drink of every person in the bar all night. He had a large entourage who bilked him out of money at every turn. I felt horrible for him, but at least he lived a wild, authentic life of a true star for at least a little while.

Did you watch the show? Most of the later episodes were crap, but the one about the invasion of the body snatchers, where Chris was repelling alien abduction by wearing aluminum foil on his head was a masterpiece. The show ended with Chris being right and the aliens had abducted everyone else in the world except for him.

Sorry about going on about Chris Burke. I guess I got away from the track about The Founder maybe having some disease or brain damage that inhibited her from thinking clearly. I think it is quit possible that beyond simply being insane, The Director has some organic brain issues or brain damage that causes her to be like that. I think she should look up Chris Burke and they should both get their asses to Couples' Therapy. That is a show I would watch.

One of my very best friends in life has a son who was born with Down Syndrome, he is the BEST little boy, and to be perfectly honest, what sucks is that he is limited physically by his syndrome, mentally he is completely "there" (for lack of a better word) but his body doesn't always get there at the same time as his brain which makes him ever so frustrated (as you can imagine.) But he's just busy being a little boy and an awesome personality for the most part!

Hmmm it sounds familiar! I remember a show with a down syndrome boy named Corky, not sure if it's the same thing. No need to apologize. I'm so politically incorrect and honestly it seems like there is not a lot of education/information about kids with disabilities. I'm constantly finding myself having to explain down syndrome to people which I don't mind but it's insane that people don't know a lot about it. But then I didn't know a lot about autism till I went to college/worked with them. Autism has SO much more support than down syndrome that's why you hear about it more which is kinda shitty. I mean all those disabilities deserve attention of course. Anyway....LOL Binkie. Farrah would think anomaly is something you put up your ass.

Isn't it insane what a difference and extra chromosome can make? I'm sorry to hear your friends boy is limited physically. But yes seriously aren't they the best kids? I know I know I sound so bias but seriously it sounds weird but I love kids with down syndrome more than any regular bratty little shit LOL. They are so affectionate and sweet, of course not all the time but I love em. I can relate with your friend. My sister isn't in a wheelchair or anything but yes her body movements are just slower than a normal person. But she's pretty bright, plays soccer, swims, etc. it just takes her a bit longer. She's freaking hilarious and has a great memory. Farrah's a doofus narcissistic cunt rocket.

Seriously if I told her "there's this girl named Farrah that grew up here but doesn't speak English and has fish lips" she'd start laughing. But omg I do not want to subject my sister to knowing about the whore that is Farrah.

TTB- Did you see that I wrote a few paragraphs about Corky in Life Goes On up higher on the comments?

TTB & OHRLY- One interesting fact about Down Syndrome kids is that years ago in Scandinavia people thought that babies with Down Syndrome were angels (actual, real angels from heaven, not just nice kids). Every parent in Scandinavia thought it was a blessing to have a Down Syndrome kid and it was a big thing in the community to have one. Parents would have prayer sessions to beseech God to make their baby have Down Syndrome and not be one of the regular, run-of-the-mill kids. It was a huge status symbol to have one and everyone wanted them.

That's the way I heard it too! But remember: If it's someone else it's bad choices, if it's Farrah its "making a success of life out of hardships and tragedy"

If she could actually speak English this might have made some sense. Saw Jenelle blasting her too.

Of all the Teen Moms, Jenelle actually has the best command of language and grammar. That is scary.

She's more classier than all of 'em

Yeah, the schools must be REALLY well there.

It's sad that Jenelle is still rising to all this crap - but not surprising. Although I find it funny that Jenelle calls her "miss pornstar" - it's not like the whole world hasn't seen all you have to offer Jenelle! We're all still trying to burn the image out of our brains!

Yeah, I thought that too Orange, but then I got to thinking. If it were me that Farrah was talking smack about, even being MY age if I had just had a baby, I'd have to say something too. I be damned if a porn whore is going to talk shit about me having a child! That nasty whore is just lucky you cant get pregnant from taking it up the ass. If so, she'd be pregnant forever.

You can in fact get pregnant from taking it up the ass. Sperm easily can find it's way from one to the other. Explains a lot of people doesn't it...

Well I agree with her. I also hate Jenelle but then I also hate Farrah. They are both twats. Why can't they just get along? You know I will say at least Farrah isn't popping out anymore kids. She should really just not have anymore kids at all....oh besides that whole pregnancy scare with james deen which we all know was BS.

(Or at least I think I agree). I'm not sure what variety of English that was.

"I only hope and I see in my life that women are not continually having babies and putting hardships and the drama and putting hardships"

"Maybe the public should comment about others who are having children and not really changing the cycle"

WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK WORD ARE YOU SAYING?

LMAO, thank you for those awesome quotes, my phone won't play the video or hit on any links. Her stupidity once again has made my day cause I needed to laugh. PS I'll be burning down her restaurant right before I move from Austin to Colorado.

Any time. NOOOOO I need to go to it first. I won't spend a dime. I'll just observe. Observe her like monkies at the zoo

We should take a "teen mom junkies" field trip to this place. And just watch. Shit, she'd probably think we were her fans. Nevermind.

I'm fairly sure anywhere Farrah goes and is met by a "fan" are people she rents to walk up to her and be like "OMG YOUR THE BEST IM GOING TO DIE HAPPY NOW I'VE MET YOU"

Also her mascot is fucking terrifying.

I know! I googled this travesty of a "restaurant" and gasped with horror when I saw that creepy mascot!

Another thought, anyone else think she used her boobs as inspiration for the eyes on that thing?

Oh of course what else is she going to use? her face doesn't work for such things

I had to make a comparison pic!

(Sorry, thought it would post as a clickable link instead of copy/paste text.)

OMG, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am LOVING the comments on the "history" page.

Her website is basically blank and she already has over 300 followers. How does this happen?

MICHAEL. GET ME FOLLOWERS OR YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH ME. It's probably Sophia's preschool buddies who were bribed with candy.

It's terrifying to think that it isn't too out there for preschoolers to be on facebook and twitter.

I know....makes me feel ancient. Remember when I played outside. Crazy thought I know

I've gotten friend requests and followers from some of my friends' kids who had babies young. They range from 10-15 yrs old but still makes my 31 year old ass feel old when that happens. And wonder why a kid under 16 needs with a facebook or twitter.

I know what you mean Lo! I have 2 friends that I knew when I was like 15. They both had kids around that age. One of them has 1 grandchild now, and the other just became a grandmother for the 2nd time! I saw one of them the other day and she was showing me pics, and I was like HOLY SHIT! It makes you feel REAL old, REAL quick.

I wouldn't surprise me. I worked a school four years ago, where a fight broke out between a fifth grade boy and a sixth grade boy because of something the fifth grade boy's sister posted on facebook and was trash talking. She was in SECOND GRADE!

*It, not I. LOL

*at a school. I'm going to bed.

I love that you think Farrah and Michael sleep together! Hahahaha it's so believable!

They so do. God it's so gross.

Only time she calls Michael "daddy" is in bed.

KB!!! Hahahahahaha

LOL perfect.

LOL! That's so disgusting! Yet, so hilarious at the same time....

You can use bots to give you fake likes/followers.

Yes, you can buy followers too.

And "likes."

But not dignity

Its a shitty wordpress attempt. FFS at least put some effort it - that isn't a website, it's a pile of shit

I work for a web development company (very small..only 4 of us in the office). And yeah, that made my eyes bleed from rolling so hard. Even our dumbest clients would never let that go "live"

Is it bad that I'd rather read/watch about this than hear about Ashley's "sobriety"? Don't answer that.

It sounds like you have an appropriate and healthy amount of interest in Ashley's life.

Yup agreed. I'm literally more interested in my cats feces than Ashley. Also I know this is a long shot, and like asking for it to rain puppies and kittens, and asking if I can have a pet unicorn, but can Farrah put on some motherfucking clothes? Would it kill anyone? besides Michael?

http://frocofreshfrozen.com/history/

Oh my effing god. The last paragraph... Apparently Farrah is known for "her success in entertainment."

I do not understand this girl.

She is also known as being a great mom to Sophia lmfao

She successfully had a baby for MTV... and then successfully made pornos..... successfully...

Oh dear lord... I am reading the "history of Froco" now.... does she not know at all how to spell, or use correct grammar? Seriously... "but then realizing after being excepted to the other growing franchises of the similar sort that their values, their brands weren’t as great as what the founder could live up too"

Excepted? .... I guess she means ACCEPTED.

She keeps saying the founder this... the founder that...

Seriously.. my brain hurts from reading this garbage. I wonder if Sophia made this website while she was out "doing her own thing".

Sophia is more classier than that.

"the glorious founder"

Mmmmm Greek yoghurt sandwich

And Greek yogurt sushi! Wow the perfect combination one dreams of when they say they feel like a certain food. Fuck "i feel like a slice of pizza". " I feel like some fried chicken." Nope it's I feel like sushi and Greek yogurt. Come on get with the times.

Greek yogurt and sushi together just sounds like an evening spent sitting on the toilet with diarrhea and throwing up into a bucket simultaneously. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

or a crazy pregnant craving. Or drug craving.

What is this website? Farrah made it? What are the two sidebars on the right that say "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" over and over? Is she on drugs? What a clusterfuck!

I totally think its drugs

It's just the default text in a layout that designers put in in order to show what text will look like. Basically, Farrah found one, and didn't even bother to fill it in. You're not supposed to see that. It's pure laziness.

LOL. What a moron. You'd think with all the money she's "earned" taking it up the butt she could hire someone to write for and design her website. She can't write, spell or punctuate to save her life. A lot of good that cooking school did for her writing and language skills!

Yes, Kiki, EXACTLY.

The 'merchandise' page is just a description of Lorem Ipsum. I can't stop laughing.

Actually, every page under the 'culture' tab!

Farrah Voo Doo Vagina magics

Or maybe it's Satan hacking the site. maybe that's the real "founder"

Farrah is Satan as far as I'm concerned. So yeah, this restaurant is the Devil's work.

This actually explains so much

LOL! My browser asked me if I wanted to translate the website into English. She hasn't replaced the filler text. I get it, though. But I usually don't launch my websites on the domain until it's finished...

No, no, no. It should read: "Farrah's ASSHOLE is known for its success in entertainment".

Lol Jenelle is mad because you know you've fucked up when Farrah is making better decisions than you. Say all you want Jenelle, but at least Farrah didn't have an abortion then get pregnant 3 months later with a guy with the attention span of a gnat. Who's ready to eat some sandwiches slathered in Greek yogurt? Nobody? Okay.

Greek yogurt with a side of Kaiser roll. If were Farrah I'd make all sorts of Teen Mom Dishes including:

Food Menu:

Chelsea's Baby Talk Back Ribs
The Bacon Slapper
The Cheetoh Fetish
Lunchables that aren't really food
Kaiser Roll with Fettucini
Upside Down Lean Cuisine Pizza
Genuality on a Stick with Ham
Jenelle's "Cereal" Bathtub Pooping with Coco Puffs

Booze Menu:

Skankazar Smirnoff
Mackenzies Famileyyyyyyyyyyyy Wine
Adam's Corvette Cosmo

And for Breakfast:
Moons Over My Abrahammies
Farrah's Grand Slammed

Bahahahaha! Does the Corvette Cosmo burst into flames when you cheers with someone? Lol too soon?

Oh of course it does. Another flaming dish:

Tyler's Flamin In the Closet Pizza

Oysters from OR-A-GON with a side of yer storyin stawberry shortcake.
Heroin hashbrowns
kieffer green hoodie beans
Teen mom eggs - OVER EASY
Javi shaken baked potatoes

Booze
Scott's BLUEballs Motorcycle - (Courtney's boyfriend)
Leahs long island medium hairstyle ice tea

OVEREASY HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LONG ISLAND MEDIUM HAIRSTYLE ICED TEA JUST KILLED ME. HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE SO HILAROUS AND CREATIVE? JUST HOW? God I cannot stop laughing

Leah's asymmetrical crazy eyed Gosslein guzzler. I can't stop sorry.

Don't forget the roast beef!!

And for your birthday instead of waitstaff coming to you singing Nathan comes and seal claps at you

NO ROAST BEEF EVER

These are fucking awesome. I'm dead serious she should do this. FARRAH IF YOU CAN READ THIS WHICH I'M NOT SURE YOU CAN PLEASE DO THIS! WE'LL ALL COME FLY TO TEXAS! And get drunk off Leah's Long Islands, Adam's flaming corvettes, and then say we're 4 days sober #newbeginnings

#we'reallgettingashleysalazarwaistedddd

Tyler's special LGBLT

OMG! I'm in Australia and I will fly to Texas for a Teen Mom Junkies site reunion at Farrah's fucked up restaurant just to eat from this hilarious menu! Hahahaha

CAN WE PLEASE????????? Thumbs down troll you come too I love you!

Amber Rib Eyelash Steak
Tyler's Pizza Fetish (with any wedding ring exchange)
Andrews Ice Cream Split
Babs Flamin' Fondue
Gary's Diet Soda
Leah's Devil Food doll Cake

More booze:

Butch's Beer Bongs
Babs Boston Bourbon
April Fools Day Daquiri I'm still not sober

Jace's fuck french frys
Teen dads horny hotdogs
Leah's pee in your pants soup
Mashed potatoes drownding in gravy
Nathan's extra orange carrot sticks

Booze
Summer ALABAMA accent SLAMMER
I love LIQUID COCAIN more then my family
My baby daddy said ADIOS MOTHER FUCKER (amf)

Trap.. April fools day daquiri... Im cracking up!

If Farrah utilizes our idea we should get 10%

You guys are awesome. I'm almost crying and my husband and dog want to know what's so funny. LOL

Dude Where's My Dad Dinner Special

Teen Mom Jailbird Meal comes with baloney sandwich, a rotten apple, hawaiian punch ( i don't know from experience)

*Farrah's KOSHER hotdog down a hallway
*Farrah's Backdoor Burger with a side of facial fries with ranch dressing
*Farrah's Sausage Stuffer
*Cody's green teeth and ham
*Tyler's Rainbow Pizza
*Sloppy Jo Jordan with a side of kale
*Leah's The Schools Aren't Well Done Steak
*Mama Dawn's Cheese Puff Melt
*Maddy's 1 Hour Or Less Easy Enchiladas
*Tony's Speech Impediment Empanada
*Taylor's Custody Custard

Dessert:

*Mackenzie's Mudslide Diabetis Delight
*Robbie's Sigh of Relief Sunday
*Josh's Rodeo on The Rocks with a side of pills
*Grangie's Apple Pie with the devil on top
*Farrah's frozen flaming souffle

Drinks:
Autumn's bf's (Trevor's)? Table Top Apple Juice
Courtney's Abstinent Absinthe
Jenelle's SIKE on the Beach

(my friend and I came up with these in the car laughing our asses off)

Ha ha Jenelles Sike On The Beach is hilarious! Actually they are all pretty great

Thanks lmfao my friend and I had a good time coming up with them. I'm so entertained by these for some reason.

Also how could I forget Peach Pookie Pie Sugar?

OMG. These are great!! Why don't we all
Make our own Teen Mom Restaurant?! Imagine the menu! And we could name it MTV Mess Hall! Hahaha

That is perfect!!!!!! Or just This Isn't Food

'This Isn't Food' wins!! Hahahahhaha I'm at work getting strange looks cos I'm cackling like a crazy woman! I love it!!

Where do you work where you can be on this site? Because I want your job ASAP!

These are all hilarious! I need to get to work, but I'm laughing too hard!

Jordans whiny wine with kails gripping grapes and cheese puffs on the side.

Thursday night could be Maddy's Happy 1 Hour. Beverages and 1 hour speed hook ups.

Oh Jordan's ones are great how could i forget?

Jordan's Homeless Homefries
Derek's Couch Hopping Coco Puffs

Tylers Trap Baby -

You forgot Step Grandpa Mike's Hooters Hot Wings.

And Derek's Rolling In His Grave Rolled Tacos

Deborah's Anti-Christ Antipasto Salad
Jermy's Wheat Germ Cereal

Oh ya'll are in for more when i come back

I'm dying over here! Hahahahaha.

OMG the Anti-Christ antipasto salad just made me pee my pants almost. LMAO!!! I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy's New Mexico Side Dish
Sophia's Doin' My Own Thing Dumplings
Vee's Ulimate Cheeseburger Ultimatum
Ashley's Potato Face Salad
Ashley's Bucktooth Beaver Sauce
Nikkole's Teddybear Truffle
Kails Pork Loins with a side of shaken Mexican frijoles
Jenelle's Kei$ha fetish Quiche
Javi's Miley Marmalade

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks Jermy has a side in New Mexico. I honestly couldn't blame him.

OMG. Don't stop with this! I can't stop laughing. All of the Ashley ones are priceless! Kail's too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you are awesome!

OMG! I love every single freakin one of you guys! ALL of that was TOO much to handle this morning! All the good shit happens at night on here!!!!

Ashley's bucktooth beaver sauce & shaken Mexican frijoles. PRICELESS.

Oh my gosh I had to copy paste these off the site. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Money Shot Mint Chip is my fav

Salty Surprise (Salted Caramel)
Back Door Burst (Peanut Butter & Jelly)
Titty Twist (Chocolate and Vanilla Swirl)
Spunky Vanilla (Classic Vanilla)
Money Shot Mint Chip (Mint Chocolate Chip)
Le”Moan” Drop (Lemon)
Jizzberry (Raspberry and Vanilla Cream)
Green Teabags (Green Tea-Infused)
Mouth Full O’ Nuts (Hazelnut and Coconut Swirl)
Butterscotch Spank (Butterscotch)
Banana Slap (Banana)
Nookie and Cream (Chocolate Cookie Swirled In Vanilla)
Moaning Mango (Mango Flavored)
Peaches N’ Scream (Peach and Cream Swirl)
Tipsy Tart (Sweet Rum Flavored)

I've gotta get in on this.

Amber's Jolly Rancher Hairspray Vodka
Jenelle's Hero/Heroin Sandwich
Kailyn's Pride Over Easy

Yessss how could i forget the jollyranchers? Omg your name is hilarious. I have Kaiser permanente hahaha

Well in Farrah's defense (damn her for making me type that) the best thing most of these girls can do is to not bring another child into the shitty situation they already brought one child into. And so far, she's the only girl who hasn't had a pregnancy scare (I wouldn't call her buying the pregnancy test a scare, just a publicity stunt / cry for attention)

Maci had one with Kyle, Amber had one on the show, Catelynn had one during the Unseen Moments of her 16&pregnant, one before she got the Mirena put in and one on Being Catelynn (Christ). Chelsea had one the third season, and the rest of Teen Mom 2 have already had more kids.

It's only because she takes it up the butt.

She hasn't had a scare because no one is having sex with her. Except the porn star she payed.

...and the people she pays to have sex with her. And the sugar daddies on that dating website she belongs to. Maybe, if they're rich enough.

And only if Michael can watch.

I cannot for the life of me understand what the fuck this "restaurant" is supposed to be. I don't get the fresh/frozen thing. Most restaurants don't want customers to know that the $10 appetizer they are eating was just some Tyson chicken pulled out of a freezer and microwaved. We can do that ourselves, at home, for a fraction of the price. Doesn't take a culinary "graduate" to microwave shitty food.

The mascot thing. Is she trying to be like Bob's Big Boy or Chuck E Cheese? Restaurant mascots are so dated, not to mention slightly creepy.

I bet she will be selling her dildos and ass/vagina molds in a claw machine or in a pie display like it's a fucking Coco's.

Can't wait for this epic fail. I give it a month, max.

She should go to Japan if she's going for the mascot thing. Literally everything has a mascot there.

NOOOOO this country is infected enough. I like Japan. Don't wish that on them ;(

I think it's going to be a frozen yogurt place that also has stuff like sandwiches/ salads. Fro-yo places boomed but seem to be on the way out now so I doubt this will do very well, even if she has a minimal hand in it. You'd think you'd be able to clearly tell what kind of food a restaurant would be serving with the kind of pimping Farrah is doing but then it wouldn't be good ol' Farrah would it?

This is under the "About" tab:

Froco Lifestyle

It’s all about the “Culture” of course, which you may learn more about in Coba class. The Froco lifestyle is about spreading positivity and passion to others and always keepin it poppin. Serving fresh and frozen food to keep us healthy, smart, and happy at all times. Froco has the fun with a interactive playground for all ages. Froco is all about the community with a theme for every day, a time for everyone to enjoy Froco and make it their own.

Froco also loves to get Coba involved in all sorts of fundraisers, events, charities and just a lot of “do good lovable” educational things. Froco is about the party, check out the party room and invite your friends for your special time. Whether you want to sit on the green, share photos on your social stream, hide out and watch a movie, get active on our indoor playground, get flavorful at happy hour, dance to live music, there is much more at Froco and we hope to expand our lifestyle to many communities to better the passion and positivity in our world.

Keep it poppin!

What the fuck????????????
She will be blowin' with this gem of a place. Dear god. Does anyone live near where this atrocity is being built?
What the fuck is her Mascot? Please tell me what a Popping Boba is?

Boba is a type of bubble tea drink.

Popping boba isnt really boba at all. It's a new "thing" ive been seeing here in America over the last year. It's basically some sort of filmy ball that disintegrates in your mouth. It's filled with juice. When you bite them, they pop. They're basically little balls of juice! I kinda enjoy them, especially the lychee flavor, but not sure if I can enjoy them anymore after this... agh.

I had em in my yogurt today they're really good. But yes now she's fucking ruined it. Just liek Jenelle ruined roast beef for me.

Boba is tapioca balls. Bubble tea (boba tea) has actually been around for a long time. I've been drinking them for years. Bubble milk tea is amazing.

Poppy, what do you call "tapioca"? I'm a little curious because I've never heard of a tapioca drink. Is it made from cassava?

OK. "Culture," I get it, like yogurt cultures. But for goodness sake, if you're going to have a frozen yogurt shop, JUST SAY IT. Don't make little hints like "it's going to have fresh and frozen foods." Just say it's a frozen yogurt joint, for pete's sake. I wish people wouldn't think being mysterious or weirdly quirky was so intriguing (especially when it comes to food) - when you're marketing something, people want to know what they're shelling out money for! Just tell us what it ACTUALLY IS, Farrah, ffs!

Not to mention saying "frozen foods" isn't appetizing at all and reminds people of TV dinners. Her marketing strategy makes zero sense but that's our Farrah!

What even is a 'popping boba'? Is it an Americanism I don't get or is it really just some letters thrown together that only make sense in Farrah's vapid hole in her head where a brain should be?

As for Jenelle vs Farrah, we should just lock them in a room together and let them argue for the rest of eternity about who's the most amazing mother, who cares about their haters least and who makes better choices. Two birds with one stone!

Popping boba isnt really boba at all. It's a new "thing" ive been seeing here in America over the last year. It's basically some sort of filmy ball that disintegrates in your mouth. It's filled with juice. When you bite them, they pop. They're basically little balls of juice! I kinda enjoy them, but not sure if I can enjoy them anymore after this... agh.

So wait...what is a boba? A boba is juice balls?

It's tapioca not juice.

What a douche bucket. Only cheap restaurants have mascots.

I wonder if she will lock the front entrance door and make everyone come in the back door. No pun intended.

Yeah, she apparently likes it when people come in her back door. Oops.

Farrah, you're making it too easy for us to make fun of you. Lol

The best part of this trainwreck (other than the badly done website) is the fact she's got a spot for people to franchise this. It must be really lonely in whatever delusional world she lives in.

Can we just put these two in a ring and let them duke it out??

Farrah has them horse teeth. my money is on her.

But Juuuhhhnelle has those boobs and (Kaiser) buns of steel!

Not to mention nathan seal clapping and Jace kicking people in the face. But then Sophia can be a little ankle biter from all those days on the pacifier (poor thing). And Deborah is a total gangsta I mean she served time yall. God I laughed so hard when she got arrested only because she somewhat reminds me of my mom who straight edge and put together. It's just funny to see someone like that locked up.

Jenelle could do some serious damage with that shovel of a chin of hers. Slice right through Farrah's balloon lips.

Farrah's cry face alone could win any fight

Jenelle would totally dominate The Founder using Mohammed Ali's famous Rope-A-Dope technique (is this too old or too male of a reference to use in a contemporary comment on a reality series starring teenage females). Cortland and Keiffer would be able to supply enough dope for millions of ropings.

I was just thinking that maybe the frozen food is frozen Greek yogurt, and when I realized that it makes sense, I knew I was wrong.

I think that's right? Frozen yogurt and then like fresh fruit as topping choices. It's hard to tell from the website. I'm picturing something like menchies only terrible because it involves Farrah.

This_is_not_food, I think we are seeing another instance of "not food" in Froco.

Starcasm actually wrote an article about it here starcasm.net/archives/278538 and it mentions that Greek yogurt is going to be incorporated into as many dishes as possible

Which doesn't seem particularly difficult seeing as it's a frozen yogurt place.....

Does anyone live in the area? Once it's open, I'd love to see pictures of Michael in the boba costume an Farrah rolling her eyes at customers.

I NEED TO GO. I live in California but I'll go if someone else does.

I will be seriously surprised if this place actually opens. AND, if it does open, if it lasts. Don't restaurants have a really poor success rate? Although, I would pay money to see Gordon Ramsay come in there and try to fix things once it starts going downhill.

I live in Texas! I'm actually going to Austin in November! IF I GO, i will def post a link of pictures!! hahahaha.

does anyone else think it is weird for her to have a red carpet opening with Sophia there when her Restaurant website opens with her getting smashed???

Dont think its somewhere i will take take my daughter....

YES PLEASE GO.

LOL did you guys all see the boba Farrah Sophia creatures? And some random boba stalker behind them? Wtf. Yeah red carpet...seriously? God

Wonder if Charlie Sheen will be there? :/

That would make me so unbelievably happy...

That mascot looks like an H.R. Pufnstuf reject.
Though I really would like to see the "founder" in this costume waving a sign on the side of a highway.

Ha, I would too but she'll probably demand that Michael wear it.

... In bed.

YES!!!!! Hahahah Fuck yeah! I'm on my lunch break and giggling to myself at these comments and the menus. Hilarious. You guys are hilarious!

With lots of yogurt for lube, of course!

Yeah, totally. Cause, ya know, yogurt is good for your pooping system and stuff.

So is taking it in the ass

:) Ha ha Trap Baby!!

Progress, opening a restaurant is much better then opening your legs all the time.
Who knew a piece of watermelon was gluten free, what an amazing discovery!
Will there be an adult entertainment area as well? And.. will that be kosher too?

I agree! Now if she could just learn the English language...

She probably came up with the mascot idea on the count of none of the employees want to show their face.

And by none of the employees I mean Michael.

LOL. I will bet that she will force Michael to wear the mascot costume, without pay. And he'll do it.

Oh he'll be paid. By being allowed to slam her asshole in the back room later.

Farrah: "MICHAEL! Put this boba costume on. Now."

Poor, poor Michael: "Yes, founder."

Is anyone else bothered by the title of her place? "Froco Fresh Frozen?" I feel like making it "Fresh n Frozen Froco" or just.. SOMETHING else would make it better... I mean, as better as this dump would be.

Also, the mascot creeps me out a little... it looks like a skill on a yellow ball. Also, did you guys see the "lifestyle" page?:

Froco is about the party, check out the party room and invite your friends for your special time. Whether you want to sit on the green, share photos on your social stream, hide out and watch a movie, get active on our indoor playground, get flavorful at happy hour, dance to live music, there is much more at Froco and we hope to expand our lifestyle to many communities to better the passion and positivity in our world.

Don't ask me why, but the dancing party and "getting active" stuff just screams porn to me.

"we hope to expand our lifestyle to many communities to better the passion and positivity in our world." WTF? Just..no..

DAMN. With all that's going on in Israel....if they'd only eat some FROCO it would totes better the passion and positivity

If I didn't know who Farrah was I wouldn't know what the F Froco Fresh Frozen means. I still don't, but that name is confusing and makes no sense. Froco isn't a word. How many main dishes can you put yogurt in? I don't want to eat that much yogurt in one meal. I would have to poop immediately and frankly I would be scared to use a restroom in an eating establishment owned and operated by Farrah. Your restaurant idea sucks balls!!!!!!!!!!

Opening up a restaurant is probably the worst investment you could possibly make. It is extremely difficult to make them profitable, they require an insane amount of work, and a majority of them fail. Add that to the fact that Farrah has absolutely no business sense and the equivalent of a second-grade education, I predict that she'll be completely broke by the time this place goes under (I give it 6 months-year.)

This. ^^

Restaurants have a 40% success rate at the 3-year mark. I also think she doesn't have as much business sense as she thinks she does. She has a manager that hooks her up with these skanky promotional type stuff. Running a B&M is a lot harder than getting plowed in the butt.

Also, like you said, the investment prospects are terrible. The sheer amount of money it takes to open one up means you are waiting years and years before you're really into profit, That's if you don't go out of business, which she probably will. Plus, I mean, can you imagine working for her? Yikes.

I have a feeling her best bet would be to get it started, market the shit out of it to get a good year of sales, and then sell it.

Also, as a web content writer, I have half a mind to tell her she needs to hire someone to write her website for her. That "History" page was brutal to get through.

True, but when you consider the alternative (Farrah taking it up the ass for the next several years to support Sophia, and writing erotic novels), I'd rather gamble on the "restaurant" too.

Hey Corgi,

How do you get into content writing? That's something I've been interested in doing for a while, but I have no experience.

You really don't need much experience to get started, although it helps. =) I have a B.A. in English/Technical Writing, but that really only helps when I'm selling myself to lawyers, plastic surgeons, etc. Some of my clients are still one-off articles somebody wants on weed whackers or whatever lol

The best place to get started is any number of forums or websites for internet marketers. They're always looking for people to write content. Most forums make you pay a fee to post an ad (usually like $40), and you just write a blurb selling your skills, any areas of expertise, etc. Always stress that you're a NATIVE English speaker (assuming you are!). Your biggest competition is Indian people who will write really, really cheap, but they're notorious for horrible quality.

Newbies generally post 5 free 1,000 word copies to get some reviews built up. Then once the site sees you're reputable, you can charge per 100 words. What you charge depends on experience and what you're looking to write. =)

From there, try to go to subscription based. Website content needs to be updated with blog like articles, because Google and other search engines add points, if you will, for "fresh content." Long story short, once you have some experience and contacts from the forums, you can say, "I'll write you 8,000 words per week for $200" or whatever. Most all of my writing is on subscription.

Hope this helps!

Except that her "marketing" skills suck, and she's obviously trying to cut corners by doing it herself. It also looks like she's going to be spending a ton of cash building the interior of this place. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she runs out of cash and declares bankruptcy before it even opens.

Honestly can Jenelle even say shit? She posed nude for that old creepy guy. Take a seat wench. You're both sluts calm down.

True that. At least Farrah got paid for it. (CANNOT believe I just defended her whore-ish ways)

I wonder if she will be serving vegan salad with Greek yogurt and feta cheese?

Seriously, wtf is up with her website? She couldn't finish it before making it visible to the public? Or hire someone to write the history and everything else on the site? I guess if Sophia wasn't off doing her own thing, she could have bribed her with perfume or something to do it (because it would probably make more sense). Trying to read through the history gave me a headache and I couldn't even look through the rest of the site.

Not standing up for Jenelle, but her Farrah's comments about getting pregnant again? Okay, Miss James Deen "Pregnancy Scare"...

On a positive note, it looks like she might have taken a rest from lip injections.

"On a positive note, it looks like she might have taken a rest from lip injections."

The ones from her mouth at least ;)

Yeah, it does appear that way, huh? She probably just traded her face lip injections for poor tuckered out asshole. Surely, it needs some type of rejuvenation procedures by now.

Hey! It's all about the fusion baby! Vegan salad with feta and greek yoghurt is just her latest amazing idea to meld different diets and food types together as one delicious dish!

Tbh the biggest Farrah related laugh I've had lately, is seeing that she modeled for her porno book cover while claiming "it's not about me". SURE it's not Farrah, sure it's not! That's exactly why you felt the need to put in a disclaimer that it isn't about you!

Well I can't unsee that...I would not recommend checking out the site anymore the internet has got hold of it. What I am most surprised at is they did not use a clip from her actual tape.

Please do not click it is very NSFW.

AHAHAH that is amazing. Gross but amazing.

Dam. I tried to look. But everything has been taken down. Suck shit Farrah!!

I hate to admit this. I thought Farrah would be the one to genuinely be successful. She actually finished college unlike her other co-stars. She wasn't out partying and seemed to be stepping up as a mom. I could get the Mom & Me Sauce, the aspirations on opening a restaurant, modeling and even the "autobiography" book. But, then came the Passy perfume, the "music", the p0rno, the plastic surgery (this first boob job was whatever), bad talking everyone, sex toys and it just kept going down hill from there.

I decided to check out Farrah's restaurant website. I went on frocofreshfrozen.com and I am SO disgusted. With my 5 year old next to me, I click on to the page and there is Farrah's porn video. Wtf!!

YES!!! me too! something i did not want to see and a very odd choice for a restaurant video!

is it me or does Farrah really have very long fingers? Looks kinda creepy to me

Did anyone else click on the link and see a disturbing video playing??? Something I did not want to see at all! talk about promoting her "self video"!!!

Lmao I think her shitty website was hacked

lol ohh! hahah, BUTT I wouldn't put it past her to self promote orrrrrr pay "someone" to hack her website.
hahahaha

^^^ pun above! :)

AWESOME

The hacker spent more time on the site than Farrah did.

I bet it wasn't hacked. I think Farrah put it out there herself for everyone to see. Extra promotion for her restaurant. Lol...

Mtv posted that kaiser was born on June 29 1:57 PM and weighed 7 lbs 1 ounce.

I want to know what the hell her parents did to her to make her turn out like this. Despite having no people skills at all, they both seem like fairly intelligent, business savvy people. There has to be something mentally wrong with this girl. She acts like a young teenager, speaks like English isn't her native language, and is just all around gross. I wish a psych department would do a study on her.

I wonder if Farrah will be serving any kind of specials for business women at her fine new eating establishment