Teen Mom OG Season 7, Episode 14 Recap: Yes, Farrah Just Got Fired and Starbust Took it Just Fine

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Finally. The episode we've all been waiting for. Farrah gets fired. Want the snark on how it all went down? Read on...

Catelynn

Catelynn, bless her soul, is moving forward with her rehab plan while Tyler appears to be holed up in a hotel. Conveniently, he manages to move his storyline forward by placing a strategic phone call to his mother.

He manages to describe, in just enough detail to keep EVERYONE informed that Catelynn had been planning a lot of ways to kill herself before she went to treatment.

We're guessing her usage of some key substances was also voluntarily omitted from this conversation.

After some melancholy millennial music, we segue back to Nova Lee.

Suddenly, Tyler's home is filled with ALOT more children.

We don't know who all of these kids belong to and it does seem that Tyler is also put out by all of the extra bodies since he remarks that "there's a lot of [bleep] going on in here." Someone is clearly always getting out of jail in Tyler's family, however, since Billy who apparently was just released from the slammer, follows Tyler to the other room where he's clearly trying to get some privacy and just work on his business, Y'ALL! BTW, why can't Tyler and Catelynn just hire a trained monkey to pack their purchases?

Back in Tyler land, his childhood home is clearly overtaken by ex-cons, including Amber's boyfriend Billy. Apparently, Billy has to wear a tether, even when he's in the house.

Amber talks about how she's kicked an Adderall habit, but we find this really, REALLY hard to believe, considering Amber's next statement is that she and Billy want to get married and try to have a baby.

She also offers up some additional information to her mother about the fact that she and Billy have not been using condoms.

Later, Tyler and Amber go for a ride where Amber solicits Tyler's opinion about her marrying Billy since he's clearly the successful one in the family. Oddly, Amber refer to the possibility of Billy being a "slumdog millionaire." We're not sure if this is a slightly racist reference to the movie.

Amber then goes on tell Billy that she'd like Billy to get to know Tyler before they get married. Is it just us, or does Amber looks like the "before" pic of a makeover victim?

At the end of the episode, Catelynn gives Tyler an update about her treatment and says hi to Nova. 

Amber

Amber is, of course, dressed in one of our favorite muppet outfits with her headscarf, giving out orders to Andrew. Later, we see just how much pregnancy-empathy weight Andrew has gained when he's ordered by Amber to paint the walls with their sample colors for their nursery. One of the producers asks Amber to reflect on how things are different now than when she had Leah.

We give Amber some credit for pointing out that she's more mature now, (as opposed to pointing out the obvious which is that she isn't about to beat her baby-daddy to death AND she makes a lot more money now).

Bother Amber and Andrew agree they're the happiest they've been in years, which clearly doesn't agree with the MTV producers, since they pan away pretty clearly from this scene and try to get us back to Maci's storyline about getting naked on TV soon.

Later, Amber and Andrew are spending time in her top two places to hang, 

Gary makes an appearance in, of course, his dad bod shirt which Kristina finally remarks on. Oh boy, even Kristina's tired of it. Then, in a dramatic moment, Kristina picks up the letter revealing Gary's DNA testing. We guess Gary can't read because he has to have Kristina read the letter for him.

Woah. It turns out Jody is NOT Gary's biological father.

We did not see that coming considering the shocking similarity between Gary and Jody's chins. But wait, how do you explain the chins then? Kristina, of course, doesn't stop to consider this anomaly and instead explodes into tears.

Later, Jody shows up and offers Emilee a dollar. Huh. It turns out children growing up in the country can still be bought off with exactly $1.

Jody finds out that Gary isn't his biological son and sadly, his first response is clear annoyance that he had to fork over child support for so many years.

Perhaps not the response Gary was hoping for. We bet, right about now, Gary is seriously regretting exploring all this "science-y stuff."

Maci

Maci is all atwitter about how she's going to be leaving for Naked and Afraid in Nicaragua.

It's clearly Taylor's job to elicit details and point as many Teen Mom viewers to Naked and Afraid as possible since he spends the next 5 minutes asking Maci artfully devised questions about what Maci will be doing on the show.

Lataer, Maci goes for a drive with a friend and talks about the weirdness of being naked in a TV show. We thought you'd be past that, considering you advertised the birth of your children on national TV, but okay. 

Maci then moves on to some wilderness training. It turns out Tinder isn't just an app. It's also what they call the makings of a fire. 

Later, Maci has to spend time with Bentley and try to make him as UNCOMFORTABLE as possible by pointing out that she's going to be naked on TV and asking how he feels about it.

Maci also takes this moment to try to impart some life lessons to Bentley.

He's the product of a teenager mom and on reality TV - we thinks he's got enough time for the wisdom gleaned from therapy later on life, honey.

Maci continues her drivel about the upcoming show with a friend while hanging out in her home.

Maci points out that Bentley will be co-parented by Taylor and Jen and Larry, since Ryan is simply not present as a father to Bentley.

Farrah

Uh oh. Percussive music is our intro into Farrah's segment. We also receive a written warning on the screen that the executive producer, Mr.

Freeman himself, has arrived to speak with Farrah. Farrah has the decency to smile and be nice when she answers the door.

Mr. Freeman begins by putting Farrah in her place right off the bat. Farrah, of course, flies into full out witch-mode right off the bat.

Still, we had a hearty laugh when Farrah suggested to Morgan that her hated producer "bounce around on another Teen Mom and annoy someone else." Yeah, oooooorrrrr, she could narrowly miss being hit by the next vase that Jenelle is likely to be throwing at David over there, on Teen mom 2. Morgan points out that Farrah is just too much of a demanding drama queen.

BTW, did anyone see Starburst milling out about in the background in strikingly similarity to Eeyore? Freeman then takes on the issue of Farrah's adult videos and tells her that she can't continue to "tell her story" on Teen Mom, if she continues to film adult videos.

Farrah, at first, agrees and says, "Okay," then gives a half-hearted indignant "Who are you to tell me what I can choose."

Next, Farrah ushers Morgan out and looks like we're now at the point where Farrah has decided to pretend that the whole incident never happened. Freeman's sidekick decides to do what Freeman clearly keeps him around to do, kiss up. 

The episode concludes with Farrah calling Morgan Freeman to tell him that she doesn't want to continue with MTV anymore and that she's got more to her life than just the show. Woah.

Did everyone hear that? Farrah decides for herself that she no longer wants to continue with the show. So why is she suing MTV again? Hmmmmm.....

 

 

Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: null (more); Why is Farrah Liquidating Her Stores? The Answer Will Shock You (more); Bristol Palin vs Farrah Abraham: Which One is More Annoying? (more); Bristol Palin vs Farrah Abraham: Which One is More Annoying? (more).

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