Teen Mom OG Season 7, Episode 13: Gary Explains How to Get DNA Testing

farrah abraham

Well, it's that time again. Tuesday is our day to unleash the snark. Why does Farrah call her father Michael? Find out below. 


Farrah is riding in the car with Sophia, Amy and Michael and for some bizarre reason calling her father by his first name. Is that an estranged family thing? We have no ide. Maybe it just makes Farrah feel extra important.

We segue in the next scene to Kristin complaining to David about the fact that Farrah wants the set teacher replaced since she believes that she gave Sophia candy. David is agreeable, way too agreeable to quickly replacing the set teacher but notes it has to be done tomorrow and can't be accomplished today.

We're confused as to why the producers are so quick to give in to Farrah's demands if their plan was to fire her anyway.

Meanwhile, back in the car, Farrah is erupting about the set teacher's many sins. Sophia decides to jump in and question the presence of a set teacher.

Yes, we certainly do see why she would question the need for any formal education considering the influences in her life. Later, Farrah berates Kristin, standing outside of the car while Amy and Michael cower in their seats.

Next, we find out that an executive producer has approached Farrah to discuss her behavior toward the crew and an "adult themed web cam show" she's planning to do.

Is it just us or is MTV really drawing out the firing of Farrah.

Morgan Freeman and another producer go for a drive together and reflect on Farrah's behavior toward the producers over the past few years. Is the plaid shirt and chin bristle an LA thing? At the end of the conversation, Freeman concludes that if Farrah doesn't change her decisions, MTV won't be able to keep telling her story.

We snorted a little there. "Telling her story"??? Is that what they call it.

By the end of episode, the producers head over to Farrah's to meet up with her AND.....MTV manages to draw out the firing of Farrah to yet another episode. 


Maci and Taylor are blithering about Ryan since that's the only reason any of us will watch any scene with these two. Maci had a blast and agrees with Taylor it was surprising to see Ryan getting married.

It's true, we didn't think he had the fortitude to marry "MA-kenzie" either since he spends most of each Teen Mom OG episode buried under a blanket on an EXTRA comfy couch next to a VERY sleepy King Charles spaniel.

Maci also reveals in this episode that she "suffahs" from PCOS. She must be counting on the fact that most of her audience has no idea what this disease is so she can drum up the drama around it. Yes, a rupturing of a cyst could be scary or NOT. Is Maci trying to act like she could have struggled with infertility? Could is the operative word. Maci needs to check with Catelynn about a real problem is. 

Maci heads to the doctor in what appears to be a HIGHLY staged doctor's appointment to discuss her PCOS. Here's our question: If this episode was plotted this far in advance and staged to this capacity, was the best episode pitch that Maci could come up with this? 

Ryan and MA-kenzie reflect on the wedding. Ryan yawns extra big and MA-kenzie empathizes with his being Ti-yahd. Tired, tired? What prey, did you do in the past few months, Ryan? It seems today, Ryan is particularly exhausted, however. 


Leah is working on a family tree, which is great 'cause second grade homework is still up to Gary's level. In teen mom world, there's nothing like a family tree assignment to make some of these cast members to question their paternity.

Gary, for instance, starts talking about Jody, who was in his house when he was growing up, which of course means he might have been Gary's father.

Amber is in the car driving HERSELF! Yes, not being driven by her burly giant.

She goes to pick up Leah and takes her on her usual jaunt to do some extra pampering as part of a typical attempt to buy her daughter's love.

Meanwhile, Gary pays Jody a visit and we're struck by the uncanny resemblance between the two of these sloths - if the number of chins on Jody isn't an indicator of Gary's true paternity, we don't know what is. Imagine the force required to lift both of these two off the ground.

Btw, will Gary's chins require their own DNA test? Sorry, that was another redundant fat joke.

Later, Gary tries to explain the scientific principles behind DNA testing to everyone in the household, "You swab it up and have some sort of test to, you know, see if they're the same, or something." Jody looks on with real respect. Yes, we suppose Gary might actually be his greatest creation.

Gary then proceeds to head over and obtain his cheek swab. For the rest of the episode, Gary is in real suspense about the test result.


Uh oh. This is sad. Catelynn winds up losing her pregnancy and Tyler talks about how losing the pregnancy was like losing Carly. Catelynn goes to the doctor and confirms she had a miscarriage.

We accelerate pretty quickly, however, to a plot twist which is Catelynn headed off to treatment. Poor Tyler. He's always dropping someone off at some sort of an inpatient hospitalization.

Wanna read more about this Teen Mom topic? Check these out: Farrah Suing For MTV $5 Million - Does She Have A Case? (more); Unbelievable: Farrah Gets Fired For Sex Vids, But Jenelle Can Post This??? (more); Oh boy...MTV Is Considering Replacing Farrah With Mackenzie Edwards? (more); Farrah Abraham Goes Apeshit on MTV: Teen Mom Junkies Break it Down (more).

And here are some more related articles: Who's the Bigger Trainwreck Mom? Farrah or Debs? (more); Farrah Abraham Goes to Mar-A-Lago, Upsets Some Fans, Confuses Everyone Else (more); Farrah's Putting Anal Lube On Her Feet And Selling To You For $12.99 (more).

A few more: Farrah Abraham Wants You To Pay $20 To See Her Lips (more); What Farrah Needs to Keep Her Career Going (more).